Sibling Love

I have to admit, I've never really gotten the whole sibling rivalry thing. I am nearly 8 years older than my brother and 10 years older than my sister. I kind of took on the role of keeper/guardian and let those two duke it out amongst themselves. And boy, did they ever! I would watch, in confounded awe as they would fight over EVERYTHING humanly possible... from the last cookie, to who got to sit where in the car or at the kitchen table, to who got to go first at whatever game we were playing. And it was like they enjoyed fighting. They revelled in it. One of their favorite things to do was chase each other around swatting each other in the arm....I swear it could go on for hours as neither of them could stand to be the last one hit. I never understood the compulsion to beat on each other or the competitiveness. (What can I say, I'm a lover not a fighter.) But don't let this fool you...the three of us were/are thick as thieves. Being country kids with working parents, we spent ALOT of time together....creating a unique and quite honestly comforting bond between us.

One of the aspects of our relationship that I find most enjoyable is our shared sense of humor. We spend much of our time together cracking jokes, delivering one liners and just generally goofing off. Get the three of us together and watch out. In fact some of my favorite memories are of the three of us joking around at dinner and getting my grandmother to laugh so hard she could barely breathe. I will forever see her in my mind's eye wheezing through her laughter, taking her glasses off and wiping away the tears....good stuff.

My brother with my grandmother.

Needless to say, my sibs are very special people to me, and no matter what life may throw our way I will always love, respect, and be oh so very proud of them. So, you can imagine my elation when last week my brother's son was born. Meet Owen, my first nephew on my side of the family.

Isn't he adorable?

My sister and Owen.

My brother with his first born son.

Perhaps the best part about getting to meet little Owen for the first time was getting to do so with my entire family. As we get older, and lead our own lives we don't all get to be together as often. I sat in the waiting room, watching my exhausted little bro try to keep his eyes open while we waited to see the baby for the first time. My sister and he soon started talking and singing a comedic song that probably had no right being sung in public....but it was fun watching them interact much the way they always have throughout the years.

Later, my sister and I were making shocking remarks about a particular piece of art in the hallway, much to my mother's dismay...as the halls filled with our irreverent laughter. My poor mother. She is often found standing next to us with her face in her hands, shaking her head. My dad, would be the one with the mischievous grin, trying to hold in his guffaws...torn between adding his own wit to the conversation or behaving himself for the sake of our embarrassed mother.

One of my favorite pics of the the contributor to our humor gene (dad) and my sibs, taken a few years ago. Congratulations Eric and Andrea. I am so very proud of and happy for you.

And welcome to the world, and the family little Owen. Don't worry...you'll get used to us! ;)

Around Here

This and That

Have you ever heard the phrase "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?" I kind of live by this rule...well...most of the time anyway! ;) Lately things haven't exactly been going my way, so of course, I've been a bit silent. But in the interest of truth in blogging, I'll share with you some of the "fun" I've had in the last couple of weeks.

--I finally was able to get my tomato and pepper plants out in the garden 2 weeks ago, only to have a freak June freeze kill them off.

--The turkey egg disappeared without a trace last week (I don't even want to think about what that means most likely happened to it) and with it our last hope for a poult this spring.

--The duck momma, who had been amazing in her role at mom, gave up the nest, probably a day or two before hatch and we lost them all.

--I managed to fall (shocker, I know) and hurt my ankle....badly enough to make most movement an amazingly painful experience.

--They started repaving our road last week. Our temps went from the 50's to 80's and in moves the construction crew. The stench alone has been enough to leave us sequestered in our closed up house. But the continual noise and tremble of the house has also been just as pleasant an experience, let me tell you.

--I started experiencing a recurrence of thyroid symptoms....which in essence darkened my spirits more than anything I have reported above.

To be truthful, this entire year has been quite sucky, if I'm going to be really honest with you....and I'm only telling you about half of the ugly things, and only the smaller ones at that. (Hey, a girl needs to keep some mystery about her.) So, in those days that try my soul I often find myself looking outside my world for a sense of perspective. As macabre as it may sound, this world can be a sad, twisted state of affairs, and there are always situations that are worse than your own to force you to re-evaluate when all you really want to do is lay down and feel sorry for yourself.

I also find myself looking at my own world under a bit of a microscope...picking it apart to truly examine the good. I look at the big things...those that should never be taken for granted:

--Like the fact that I am truly blessed in my children, and that they are healthy and strong.

Or the fact that no one will ever love me as much as my son does right now. Every day, practically every hour I get lavished affection from him, lots of hugs and kisses, lots of "Momma I love you" and "You're so pree-dee." And nothing makes me smile like his singing:

(Although I really wish he'd let me record him w/o me singing too...)

--I have an amazingly loving husband who is also healthy and strong in body as well as character.

--I am blessed with a large and close extended family, whom I love dearly.

--I am lucky enough to have amazing friends who keep me laughing and smiling daily.

A case in point is the continuing Candy Wars saga between my two blogging buddies Marcee and Warren. Marcee sent Eric what she deems the best candy in the world awhile back, and Warren recently countered with his own offering:

Eric is enjoying being the judge on these important matters and hopes the two will be fighting over the best gps navigator next. ;)

Even though you cannot tell from their expressions, the kids did enjoy the candy. Thanks Warren. :)

I also find myself dwelling on the little things...those that are easily forgotten...those that force you to slow down a bit.

--Like robin's song...one of my favorite things on this earth.

This particular robin lives in my front yard and serenades me everyday, all day. I was able to record this while sitting in my comfy chair, foot bandaged and propped up on pillows. It doesn't get much better than that!

--Flowers, and all their amazing color and dimension.

--The first sun warmed strawberries of the season.

--Or the fact that I'm writing this while relaxing outside, thanks to my BIL who got me an amazing deal on a used laptop. Thanks Mark! :)

Movies

As most of you know, I am a locavore, and strong supporter of sustainable farming. There are a couple good films coming out this year that I am excited about. Click the links below to learn more and watch the trailers.

Fresh the movie

Food Inc


I also recommend:

The Future of Food

King Corn

The World According to Monsanto

Fast Food Nation

All of which are already out and available at stores or through Netflix. I just wouldn't recommend eating fast food before watching any of these....just to be safe! ;) Enjoy!!

A Day Off

Sunday was a cool, blustery day. We really should have done some work around the 'stead, goodness knows there is always something to be done. But we decided to take a little break, drive to the lake and walk one of my favorite trails at the Huron County Nature Center.

The Nature Center is across the road from the Lake Huron shoreline, so we stopped there first. Considering the temp was in the 50's and the winds coming off the lake felt like the 40's, we had the place to ourselves.

(Don't you love her fashion sense?)

I could sit and listen to the waves all day.




Have I mentioned before how much I love walking at the Nature Center? If you're a local, you really should check it out. There are paved trails and more rustic trails, small loops and larger hikes, really something for everyone.

Lots of benches, perfect for a little rest or a great place to sneak a smooch or two. ;)


Lots of little bridges to explore,



This little dock is over a marshy area just teaming with life.

The last time I was here, I was surrounded in a cacophony of spring peepers, frogs and toads. This time, the song birds serenaded us while we explored.

Invigorated by the walk we then had to face the difficult decision to either go back home or continue driving along the coast. You guessed it, we chose the slacker road and headed out for a drive. We ended up in Harbor Beach for lunch. We had company.

Of course, we had to explore the shoreline here as well.

And play on the playground right on the beach. I spent a lot of time here, in the play tunnel. (Did I mention how cold it was?!)

After visiting Harbor Beach we went to one of my favorites places in MI. Point Aux Barques Lighthouse Park.
> I've got about a million memories of this place. Fishing, camping, swimming and exploring the lighthouse and the history of this area. It is also home to one of my favorite trails. It is rustic, beautiful and filled with songbirds. I could sit there and listen to nature's melody all day. It really is a lovely, lovely spot.

Aden, the fearless adventurer takes the lead.....until the path starts to narrow and the forest gets a bit darker.

I sometimes wonder if we Michiganders take the lakes for granted. I have been surrounded by these huge bodies of freshwater my whole life. They define my borders, and yet instead of feeling boxed in, I feel quite lucky. To me, there is no beauty, power and peace like that that can be found where water meets sand and rock.

With this Ring....

A few weeks ago Eric came home with the news that he would be getting his name in the local paper in recognition of his wonderful service to Chrysler and his marvelous super-hero mechanical abilities (okay, I may be embellishing here a bit, but you get the idea.) He also told me, rather embarrassed, that Chrysler would be bestowing him with a ring. Me, being the ever supportive wife, cracked up laughing at that thought and promptly started inquiring if he would be going steady with Chrysler and should I be feeling jealous, under the circumstances?


Filled with wifely pride, I told my friends that night about my husband's accomplishments and his new steady. Marcee, being the equally supportive friend, decided on the spot that Eric deserved a special gift to commemorate the occasion, and honor the man.

First out the box was a shout out to his laundry skills.

Then of course came a very respectable length of yarn, in an equally respectable and manly color. Perfect in it's softness.... just right for keeping those pesky class rings steady on your finger.

Then came a tube of sunblock. Eric got a nasty burn the other week, and she thought it wise he take better care of his skin...he is in a new relationship and all...these things are important. She also included some sugary treats for the honoree, which was his favorite part of the gift, of course.

I cannot also help but wonder if this is a deliberate jibe at our friend Warren, who no doubt would find Nerds or Swedish Fish more fitting this momentous occasion. (I may tend to agree with him...my family walked around with Windex breathe after eating these things!!)

Overall, not a bad haul for our prominent man of the moment.

Wait...what's the nail polish for you ask? Well....when I feeling particularly sad recently, Eric allowed me to paint his toe nails in an effort to cheer me up. It worked too. I giggled every time I looked at his cute little pink toes. Marcee thought he may want to switch it up a bit.

What do you think, is blue the appropriate color for a man of his stature? ;)

Thank you Marcee for being so very thoughtful (and hilarious!) and of course, a big Congrats to Eric, you are the best!!!!!!

Love letters

Today is my cousin's 15th wedding anniversary (Happy Anniversary Tanya & Bob) and we were chatting about it this morning and how old being married for so long makes us feel. It's strange that I am in no way freaked out by the fact that I will be 35 this year, but the fact that hubby and I have been a couple for 18 years (married 14) this year makes me feel positively ancient. What's that about anyway?!

Maybe it's because it's just hard to believe so much time has passed. When I look at him, he seems ageless to me. I look at him and I still see that boy....

Ha! Okay...maybe not. I gotta admit, when I look at these old photos I crack up. But still, that cute boy with the intense eyes has grown into an amazingly handsome man...and those eyes still get me. The fact that he still looks at me the same way he did all those years ago, makes me wonder where all that time went, really.

But I do have a nice way to look back in time and remember the boy who was. You see, I still have all his love letters from our past.

The sad part about being a young couple in love is the separation. The nice thing about being a young couple in love is all the letters....full of longing and sweetness and dreams for the future...

I pull out this folder every once in awhile and read the words of the young man who fell in love with me. I leaf through cards, and remember the flowers.

The best part is, every once in awhile, I still get love notes. Well, sure...now they're written on bank envelops or hastily scribbled on the shopping list...but they still make me smile, and I still keep them.

Sometimes he'll surprise me with sweet little post it notes all over the house...

Yeah, maybe 18 years isn't such a scary stat after all. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could handle another 18, easy! :)

What about you? How long have you been with your significant other? Do you still have your spouses love letters (Or an ex boyfriend/girlfriend...I won't tell! ;) tucked away somewhere?

This and That

This is the time of the year where many of us homesteading/gardening/farming bloggers go a bit AWOL as there is so much going on elsewhere. I thought I'd try to do a bit of updating today. The big push around here has been trying to get the garden in. The biggest hindrance? The weather. It's been cool, blustery and rainy. Not exactly the kind of weather those warm lovin' tomatoes and peppers enjoy. But finally, over the weekend we made some headway. We got the last of the first phase of planting done. The tomatoes, peppers, carrots and lots of herbs have finally been planted. We got a nasty frost a couple of weeks ago that decimated our romaine lettuce, kale and most of the broccoli. It completely blackened all of our potatoes and I thought for sure they were goners as well, but amazingly they all came back and look amazing now. Most everything else is doing well. We were able to pick our first lettuce of the season yesterday. Isn't it lovely?

I swear I could take pics of it all day.

We're also getting asparagus, chives, spinach, oregano and thyme from the garden now as well. In a couple of weeks we'll get the corn, sweet potatoes, squashes and pumpkins in the ground and we'll be done with spring planting.

We're on turkey watch here. Last week was our 28 days count, and let me tell you, those birds are looking rough after sitting in that box together for a month. This weekend we pulled them off the nest, as we weren't even sure there were still any eggs under her. (We found a few shells out in the run.) She still has one under her. As I held the warm egg in my hand I swear I could feel movement, and without a word handed it to Eric, who's eyes lit up in surprise...he could feel it too. So, while we're a bit disheartened that the other eggs didn't make it, we're still hopeful that soon we'll have a baby poult here on the 'stead. We're not quite sure what happened with the other eggs in the nest. Were they duds? Was the tom, who still insists on nesting with the hen, too heavy? We're thinking next time we may have to separate the love birds, though I have to admit my sentimental heart breaks for poor Jake at the thought.

The duck momma is still as fierce as ever, and Eric said she got a hold of his sleeve the other day and was actually hanging from it in her tenacity!! We've had to separate her from the others because she was hording all the eggs. She just kept scooping up the eggs laid by the other ducks and adding them to her stash. She's determined, that's for sure!! I did a bit of nest cleanup and we're hoping we may have ducklings as early as next week.

So, that's been life around here. Gardening, tending the animals, yard work and cleanup. We're hoping to put some siding on the chicken coop soon and do some general painting and sprucing up around here soon as well. Hope you are all enjoying your spring! :)

Some Closure

Blogging is a funny business. It can be as personal or as impersonal as you want to make it. As real or as guarded as you need to be. I was asked recently how it is that I can be so open and sometimes personal on this public space and how does my family enjoy my more personal thoughts being shared with the world? The funny thing is, I've also been chided, by people who know me better, for being a "closed" person and not sharing enough of myself. I have to admit, there is an interesting dichotomy to my personality. The truth is, I am both a very guarded person and a very open person...all at the same time. How does that work? Well....if I make up my mind to open up and talk about something, then I'm wide open. The trick, is getting me to that point. Particularly when it comes to negative emotions, or the bad stuff going on in life. I tend to not give that up easily. I tend to keep my pain to myself. Sometimes I just don't deal at all.

If you've been reading me for any length of time you know I lost someone dear to me in Iraq. I've written about him multiple times before here, always in the month of May....which for 4 years has been the hardest month of my life to just get through, mostly because that's all I ever do...just get through....I never deal. I never allow myself the luxury of grief. I rarely allow the tears to come. I never watch, read or listen to anything to remind me of war, explosions or soldiers. I hide from it all and I bury the sadness.

At the beginning of this month my grandfather passed, and as a Navy veteran, his funeral was military. I had to come face to face with my worst fears....another military burial. The soldiers, the salutes, the flag draped coffin. The trumpet, the guns, the folding of the flag....all in my face, all forcing me to remember what I wouldn't and feel what I couldn't allow myself to. To say I lost it would be an understatement. I have never in my life experienced what I went through that day...a total breakdown and loss of control. I couldn't even make myself breathe through the sobs and I certainly couldn't make them stop. It was a totally surreal experience for me, but deeply necessary I am finding. Breakdown=Breakthrough. A final gift from my grandfather, it would seem. Since then I have had real and meaningful conversation with the best of friends and family who have been amazingly supportive. I have cried more days than I care to admit this month, and allowed myself to feel what I clearly needed to feel.

I have decided that this will be my last in depth post on Chuck, my grief and the Iraq war. I'm not even sure why I'm willing to share any of this right now. Perhaps it's because I have every year since I started blogging and it deserves some closure. Perhaps I am hoping someone else dealing with loss, particularly the loss of a soldier will take comfort in knowing there is healing in time.

I'm going to close this with some words of wisdom from him, in his last letter to me, dated April 20th, 2005.

"Ang, I've been thinking that the only real reason to live is to love. Love can cause just about any emotion. Happiness, sadness, anger, hate, jealousy, euphoria. Even the most level headed person can be angered by love. So what do you do when you are fortunate enough to find the one you love? You struggle through life together always being there for each other. You have the children and they mature and move out. All your hard work pays off the college loans and the mortgage and the cars. You reach a ripe old age together, content to wake up retired and sit drinking lemonade on the front porch in the comfortable silence that 30-40 years of marriage has kindly provided. And then one day one of you dies. I know its probably over and beyond our heads and perspectives but what a blow. That one person you share your soul with, stand beside, pick up and get picked up by when you both fall down. How and maybe why could/would you still carry on? What would be the point? I know there's the rest of the family there for you but damn. I think I would be the most melancholy person in the world if I were fortunate enough to live through a situation like that. I guess the only real reason to live is just to live. Life seems bittersweet. always. The sweet just isn't as sweet without the bitter I guess..."

Indeed.

Working girl

I haven't talked much about our dog, Ginger, here. She's a 4 year old yellow lab/golden retriever mix. She's the middle child.


She came into our lives when Aden was barely one year old and Ethan was a fresh little bun in the oven. Given the state I was in, as her trainer, I am very happy with how she has turned out. She really is a sweet girl who listens well and loves to please. She guards her property fiercely, respects her boundaries, behaves herself amazingly well with the other animals here on the 'stead and even helps out with them.
She loves to help herd the birds in for night, and she is even trained to chase off the local Coopers Hawk who keeps trying for the flock. I also credit her presence here for the general lack of resident garden munching wild critters we use to have to deal with here. (Although, long time readers will be happy to know Mr. Stink is still here. We found that out the hard way the other night, as Ginger got sprayed for the first time. Fun stuff.)

The kids adore her, and she them. Although it took awhile for she and Ethan to warm up to one another.

Now he loves her dearly and thinks she particularly useful for cleaning between ones toes.

But it's not all work around here.

And as you can see, she has a mischievous side. But I wouldn't want her any other way. :)